When I began medical school in Hungary, I needed money to survive. Tuition fees had to be met, as well as funding for my cost of living. In the year that I spent working, punching through medical insurance claims and cleaning up dissection work at the anatomy lab, I saved up enough to get me started on my new journey. It wasn’t enough though. As an only child in my family, my parents always did the best they could to help me fulfill my ambition. They spent all their time, energy, and effort providing for me so that I would be able to fulfill my own ambitions. And even though I never really made a convincing case for them to believe that I would succeed, they still backed me and did whatever they could to make that happen. Such selflessness and love. So here is an insight into their story. A journey of patience, perseverance, and sacrifice.

The 1970’s. This was a time when the world was gripped by a power struggle between the Soviet Union and the West. Back then, there were many younger nations that were born out of independence from the old colonial powers of Europe. Straight after World War II, came a series of decisions through a newly established international community that would honour freedom to countries such as India and Sri Lanka, and many others across the globe. By the 1970’s, these countries were still figuring out how to govern their nations on their own terms. And so my parents lived through a tumultuous period in Sri Lanka’s post-independence history.

Many Sri Lankans reading this, and even those coming from countries of unstable governance, will relate to our story. The 1970’s in Sri Lanka was the beginning of political instability in the country. In a power struggle to govern, decisions were made that did not sit right with the people of Sri Lanka. I suppose what is instinctive in humans is a feeling of a sense of belonging. To identify yourself as being a part of something, a group, or race. Being a part of a group or race, enables humans to differentiate themselves from others. And even though all of us are from the same point of existence, we still manage to find differences amongst ourselves, and create conflict out of it. And so this is what happened to Sri Lanka. Well, it’s only my understanding of events anyway.

My father came from a strict educational family background. His father was the principal of a school. A strict man with an ethos of discipline, honesty, and education. My father took on the expectations of his father as the eldest son in a family of 6. Each of them I would say spent a lot of their childhood and youth studying to become a qualified professional. All of my father’s siblings became either a doctor, or engineers. But for some reason, my father never really did well in school. He didn’t get the grades he required to become a qualified figure in society. And in the back of his mind, he used to carry this disappointment with him throughout his life.

But despite the disappointments, my father had no choice to also persist in his life. He managed to train and become part of Sri Lanka’s police force. In Sri Lanka, being a police officer held a lot of fear and respect in the community. It was also not something anyone could easily get into. It was a dangerous job. My father had to harden up a lot. He saw things that most people would not, and would not want to either. It really changed him and his perspectives on life.

My mother on the other hand, came from a very liberal family for Sri Lankans at the time. If you go to the UK, or even here in Australia, you’ll find that many doctors and other individuals of high profile occupations, are of Sri Lankan and Indian origin. And the reason to that is this. Education in Sri Lanka, and I would say Asia too, is an ideology there that is probably on the top of the list of what people believe will give them fulfilment in life. My father’s family were a perfect example of their belief in education and the status that it held. My mother’s family weren’t so concerned by it. They focused much of their time going to the beaches on weekends, singing, and enjoying the simple things in life.

Yet, despite the differences in family lifestyles, my father ended up falling in love with my mother. This was not something his family readily approved of. Being the eldest, he felt a responsibility of duty to his family first. As things started heating up in the country politically, there were rumours flying around that his life was in danger in the police force from both sides of the impending conflict. My father decided to take the money he saved up and bought an airplane ticket to Europe to raise more cash and temporarily leave an unstable situation. For one year, my father lived and earned around Stuttgart in Germany.

It was in staying at a hotel there that he met a wealthy Australian businessman. Such was the generosity of the man, he insisted my father come and stay with him for a holiday in Melbourne, Australia. So my father actually took him up on his offer. In 1979, my father traveled to a different looking Melbourne. When my father tells me stories of when he first came here, he describes an Australia that had yet to embrace their integration with Asia. He didn’t see many immigrants, except those from European backgrounds. To him, the place was a long way from his life in Sri Lanka, but he knew it would be safer.

He soon returned to Sri Lanka, and raised enough money to fulfil his responsibilities to his family. He and my mum got married. It was in 1981, that their families faced real danger. Emotions ran high amongst the ethnic communities in Sri Lanka, and those emotions resulted in bloody violence. My dad’s desire to resume his career as a police officer was not an option anymore as his life was on the line. To his own community, he was looked upon as a traitor working for the government police force. And with his ethnic background, it also meant that he would not be kept safe from any side of this conflict, even by his own police force.

It takes a lot of courage to leave something you pride yourself in doing. Something that you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Yet my father did this because he wanted to create a new freedom for his family. By 1982, my parents arrived in Melbourne, Australia with very little, except hope. From that hope, they began their journey in building a new life for myself, and for others to follow.

Freedom is earned from a place of belief and faith. And this freedom that I speak of is freedom that we search for in every single aspect of our lives. Freedom of feeling safe, freedom to have enough money to afford what we desire in life, and freedom to be happy. Our challenges in life teach us to find a greater happiness within ourselves so that when we finally do make a decision, it is made with a greater understanding that ultimately gives us the very freedom we’ve always desired.

When my parents arrived in Melbourne, they were safe. They achieved this by letting go of everything they had at home. They left behind family and friends who were still facing danger in a country with an uncertain future. And they left behind a life in which they spent years building in Sri Lanka. They now faced the challenge of rebuilding their lives in Australia. Like many immigrants that come to a country in search of freedom, my parents had to learn things the hard way in order to discover their own freedom.